I know I've not had recent entries as nothing has happened up to know.
I'm on the 09:02 train to London Bridge. I'm nervous but excited.
In my personal life a lot has happened though.
I've been back to South Africa to visit my family. I went without my husband and kids. Selfishly I enjoyed being the child again and it made me look at and appreciate the mother child relationship. It made me realise it is ok to sometimes feel vulnerable. It is ok to say I need you more. It is fine to be the child.
I then also realised that it is harder for my husband to accept what I am doing and he doesn't understand all the reasons for it. He is entitled those feelings. It does however mean that i am feeling a bit like I'm in it on my own. I am ok with that though.
It takes me back to when I first arrived in the UK with a 13kg bag full of summer clothes in the middle of March. I keep telling myself "you have been chosen to do this".
I hope this experience will give me a platform to empower other women in all aspects of life.
For now I am just taking a deep breath and bathing in the unfamiliar emotions.
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